Ecumenical force for hope, dedicated to alleviating suffering and facilitating spiritual, ethical, physical, emotional and intellectual healing and growth for our community and God's world.
My husband and my marriage had been in a downhill slide since his deployment to Afghanistan. While apart, he constantly emailed me with his concerns about my marital faithfulness. At first, I tolerated his suspicions, but my patience began to wear thin after a few months. By the time he returned, my impatience had grown into resentment. To make matters worse, his combat experience abroad profoundly affected him. He was irritable and jumpy, at times to the point of aggressiveness.
I finally persuaded him to consider marriage counseling. At first he was adamantly opposed. He worried about therapy showing up on his military records. After several weeks of negotiation-and a worsening morale in the marriage-we visited our pastor. After one session, the pastor convinced us to see a professional marital therapist and referred us to the Ecumenical Center.
It was slow going at first. He was frustrated by my newfound assertiveness. Like many military families, when a soldier is deployed, the family learns to function more independently. I took care of the family finances, adapted to being a single parent and discovered that I could handle small crises of house maintenance. Upon his return, he felt useless and lapsed into a depression.
Fortunately, we persisted with therapy and began to sense a renewed vitality in our relationship. His depression and anger have subsided through his individual counseling and medical treatment. Though significant issues remain, our marriage is now on sounder footing and we are continuing with ongoing therapy.